Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Año nuevo vida nueva



So basically I'm getting super excited to come home. I know I did my best in this area and I know that the Lord is proud of me and now I'm excited for this great airport reunion that's coming and all that's going to follow it. 

So here's the deal.
Anyone and everyone that wants to be at the airport when I arrive is welcome to be there. Our plane is scheduled to touch down at 1:07pm in Salt Lake international airport. You can all be there with signs and balloons and happy smiling faces if you so desire. But we have to set a couple of ground rules:

1. Mom gets the first hug, so everyone else needs to stay out of the way. After the first hug has been distributed, other hugs will be available to everyone else. I expect you all to honor the first rule. 
2. This isn't going to be a long shindig at the airport. I'll leave time for hugs all around and then obviously we have to snap some photos. But I have to run some errands, so we've got to keep this thing short.
3. Please keep in mind that just because I'm in a hurry and won't be able to give each of you the full love and attention that you deserve, doesn't mean that I love you any less. I promise that if you want time in the following days/weeks to catch up and spend time with me that I am more than excited to make it a priority to make you all feel loved and feel how much I appreciate you.

I can't think of any other rules, but those seem sufficient to me to cover all the bases. Please read and understand the airport rules before arriving at the airport on Wednesday afternoon. If you have any questions, please contact my mother if at all possible. Or Michelle. Or anyone you think would know anything about anything cause honestly I don't really have any idea what's going on either. This all feels pretty surreal right now.

Back to business.

This week has been such a blessing, really. I have felt the Savior's love for me over and over and over again. As a missionary, something that I've been really good at is always remembering that I'm in my area for a reason, and I need to trust the Lord that if I follow him, I'll get done what I need to. I think that was something that I kind of forgot when I got here to Butler, I'm not really sure why. I think it's because my whole mission I was just happy go-lucky Sister Bills. I struggled, but I was never really a "struggling missionary" persay. At least in my mind. I always felt like I had stuff under control. But when I got here to Butler, I don't know. It was just really hard. I had a lot of struggles, and I didn't really understand why. I felt super bad about it, too!! So lately I've been feeling like, "Oh, I must have let the Lord down" and stuff. Like I didn't do what he wanted me to do in this area. I honestly felt like I hadn't made a difference at all. Even though I was still working hard, still praying hard, still studying hard, still staying close to the Lord. I felt like I was doing everything I'd always done, and nothing was coming of it. I felt really worthless.

But you know who tells us stuff like that? Satan. And he is literally the worst person I know. He will make you SO sad and SO depressed. And that is super lame of him. 

But you know who is stronger than Satan? 
And He rocks. He is literally my best friend, and this week has been a blessing because I've felt like he's taken me by the hand, and led me to those people that I've impacted most while I've been in this area, and they have opened up and told me the difference that I made in their lives, and Christ has shown me how he has used me and my talents to make a difference in the lives of these people that I just adore. That's the kind of person He is. He lifts us when we are down and He pushes us to be better and to always remember him. He is the best. 

Some of these goodbyes have been super hard on me, but as I've gone around and expressed my love for the people I've met and taught, my heart has just filled with this incredible gratitude and sometimes I feel like I'm just going to explode with how blessed and grateful I am for this mission experience. 

This week has been wonderful because we were able to do tons of service as well. We volunteered at the Salvation army and we went caroling to this place with all of these severely handicapped people and we visited tons of lonely less actives and shared the Christmas video with them and brought the spirit into their home. It was such a wonderful last week. I have always said that being a missionary at Christmas is the best, and I stick to that. 

The Lord is so good to us. We are so lucky to be members of his church. 

Sorry the emails have been short. I have been having amazing experiences. I love these people. Absolutely adore them, and my heart is torn in two because I feel so sad about leaving. But I am so excited to see all of you guys again, I have missed you so much. 

So weird that as the new year comes, I'm gonna be starting a brand new chapter in my wonderful life. I can't wait to see what 2016 brings. 

Onward and upward we go. 


Hermana Bills