Monday, December 7, 2015

Always a Missionary

What a week!! 

So many amazing things happened this week. The first of the good news would be that we are moved out of our old apartment and into the new one!! So now all that's left is to go back and deep clean the old moldy smelly old apartment and just to thoroughly enjoy the new one for the 21 days that I get to live there. 

It is such a nice apartment. It's still pretty messy right now since we're still organizing everything, and we're also decorating for Christmas! So I'm gonna have to send you guys some pictures once it's all decorated! One of the elders from the move crew - Elder Haskins - was there a couple of transfers ago when we moved into the new Lancaster apartment in the branch, and then he was there again this week to help us with the move and he was just laughing and making fun of me. I told him "I didn't ask for this" but when we walked into the new apartment and they saw how nice it was they were like, "Yeah, you definitely had a hand in this, didn't you." 
I guess I have a bad rep in the office for being high maintenance? Oh well. 

THERE IS NO MOLD IN THE NEW APARTMENT. And the shower head feels like little angel fingers are tickling your scalp and it is wonderful and so I'm happy. 

This week we also had to go to the MedXpress for Sister Wadsworth, because she had some weird growth on her hand and we didn't know what it was and people were saying it could be a staff infection so we got told to go to the emergency room. Anyway it ended up being really bad eczema and she got some steroid cream and everything went fine. 

Then we went on exchanges with the STLs and I got to serve with Sister Sibley for the day, she is amazing and I learned so much from her. She is so sweet and always jumping in to help and give advice and just super happy all of the time. 

I also got to go to my very first ARP meeting this week and it was so spiritual and amazing. I'm not sure what you're allowed to say about them though. We went to help one of our investigators who we committed to go, and then said that they felt lonely and didn't want to go, so we went with them. It ended up being this super big miracle, because there was another lady there who didn't speak English very well and so I was able to talk with her in Spanish and help her out. It was cool to see how the Lord placed me somewhere where I needed to be. It was also a tender mercy for me to be able to use my Spanish. I have missed it. 

We also got to see the Beers this week!! It made me so happy! They taught Sister Wadsworth about geocaching and then we sat down with them and I just opened up and I told them how much they meant to me and how they had helped me, and I told them how I couldn't leave this area without trying to help them the best I could. Lisa told us that she is agnostic and wants to believe that something is out there, and Brother Beers told us that he believes in God and Christ but feels he has to do things on his own... But when we testified to them about the love that God has for each of us and how He has a plan for us individually, he got all teary eyed. I asked them if we could go through the lessons with them, and he didn't even hesitate, he said "I think that would be a great idea." and we left and I felt so happy because hopefully some day those two people that I care about SO much are going to come to the Lord and what a great day that will be. 

We also have been working with the Hoys and their older brother AJ just moved back home and he seems super legit and has come to some activities and he sat in on our lesson on Saturday so I guess we will see if anything comes of that :) 

Anyway, sorry to keep it short this week. I am feeling really excited to come home so I'm super not motivated to write anything right now. It's a good feeling. The other day I was really struggling and just felt this heavy sadness... I ended up locking myself in the dumb bathroom and just crying for like 15 minutes, and praying asking the Lord where this sadness was coming from and what I could do to overcome it. I got the prompting to go talk to my companion and she really helped me through it. I realized that I was just super sad that my mission is ending, and wondering what it will be like on the other side.

Yesterday, I decided it would be a good idea to fast for some comfort, and I really got a lot of my prayers answered during the Christmas devotional. I love living prophets. 

But I feel like the bulk of my peace came only this morning as I was studying for a less active member we are going to see tonight - I was reading about the plan of salvation, and the spirit world just stuck out to me. I couldn't stop reading D&C138 - I was just so taken by the idea that when I die I will get to be a missionary all over again! As I was reading, a line in one of the verses reminded me of a line from my patriarchal blessing, so I pulled that out and all the sudden this sweet warm peace just came over me and the spirit whispered, "You will never stop being my missionary."

Maybe I will have to take my tag off when I go home. Maybe I won't schedule lessons or sit down and teach discussions anymore. Maybe I won't have the full time calling. But I think I'm finally starting to get it - the best is yet to come, and I will always be a representative of Jesus Christ. When I was baptized, I took His name upon myself, and I've got to live like it every day. I've got to live like Him every day. 

Something that Sister Johnson always tells us has helped me as well. She says, "Your mission is like the MTC for your life." 

When I think about that, I just feel so hopeful. I think about when I was in the MTC, and how good I thought I had it then. And then I came out into the mission field and realized that there was so much more! It's the same right now as I prepare to go home, things are just going to keep getting better and better, there is no reason for me to feel sorrow. 

I will always be a missionary!! 
How lucky am I? :) 

Hermana Bills 

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